By Maxine C. Aston
Asperger Syndrome (AS) has frequently been thought of to be incompatible with love and relationships, yet because the variety of diagnoses raises, it really is changing into obvious that folks with AS can and do have complete and intimate relationships. Maxine Aston frankly examines the basic elements of relationships which are frequently complex via the ailment. Illustrated with real-life examples, the publication tackles matters equivalent to appeal, belief, verbal exchange, intimacy and parenting and encompasses a part on commonly asked questions, making it a needs to for all people with AS and their companions, in addition to for buddies, relations and counselors.
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Extra resources for Aspergers in Love: Couple Relationships and Family Affairs
This rarely succeeds as he probably has not even heard or been aware of what she was trying to do. A few of the AS men complained that their partners accused them of not listening, and claimed that their partners will say that they have told them things that they are sure they haven’t. Selective hearing is an issue raised by the majority, if not all, of the NT women I spoke to, and seems to be the catalyst for many of the disagreements that evolve between the couples. There is a high level of probability that the NT women have given their AS partners the information, but the AS person does not have any memory of what she has said.
I have talked earlier about the differences in brain processing between AS people and NT people. When the AS person is asked a question or presented with a problem that involves reading someone else’s feelings or putting him or herself in someone else’s mind, he is unable to use the part of the brain designed for this purpose and used by NT people. He instead uses the area of the brain that is used for logical and practical problem solving. The AS person when sorting out an issue that requires insightful thought can only produce an answer by using a logical and practical route.
It is like understanding that someone needs to be fed, but not having a clue what to feed him or her and not having any food to offer. The practical side of the need is understood, but the feelings and emotions that are required to fulfil the need are not available. This man also said his partner wanted him to be perfect and he realized from her criticism how far from perfect he must be. Most of the men I have spoken to do try to understand their wives but, as one man said, he can only understand what she tells him.